The Pants Thief
by Iskeirka
Summary: In which Hentus' pants are stolen, and subsequently rescued by the Nerevarine herself.


**The Pants Thief**

"Hentus has been acting odd lately," Lynnae Yasurnummu confessed to her long time friend Felura Lasami over a mug of hackle-lo tea. "I have to say, I'm a little worried." She sighed, shifting slightly in her wooden seat. "If I ask him what's wrong, he doesn't answer, just scowls at me and stomps off. I'm sick of it" she muttered, blowing softly on her tea in an effort to cool it down.

Felura raised an eyebrow quizzically, leaning forwards, her elbows resting on the table. "Really? That's strange; Hainab has seemed more than a little off too. You know how close those two are, do you think something happened between them?" Lynnae nodded, smiling softly. Hainab and Hentus had been the best of friends ever since she could remember, and she and Felura were no better. They had met through their respective brothers, and had gotten along wonderfully. There was rarely a day that went by when she didn't see Felura at least once.

"Perhaps, though I doubt it. Those two had never fought in their life – why start now?" Lynnae answered, frowning. She drained the rest of the tea from her redware mug and stood, the legs of the chair grating across the floor. Seeing that her friend had finished her tea as well, she gestured to the door. "Shall we take a walk?"

They had barely gotten out of the door before they were accosted by a wide-eyed Dunmeri child, who paused, gasping for air. "The Nerevarine is here!" she exclaimed, before running off once more.

Felura looked at Lynnae, raising an eyebrow. "Shall we go and see the famed, immortal hero who cast down Dagoth Ur and rid our land of Blight?" she asked, sarcasm dripping from her words. Felura was a devout follower of the Tribunal Temple, and didn't like the idea of Azura's pawn roaming the land, not to mention he had killed Almalexia. Felura didn't know if there was any truth to the rumours running around about the Lady of Mercy's apparent insanity, but she didn't care, either. The Nerevarine had killed Her, and it was said that he had also murdered Sotha Sil as well, while in the Clockwork City.

Shrugging her shoulders indifferently, Lynnae drifted over to where a crowd was slowly gathering. Gnisis normally didn't have a lot of visitors, and the ones they did get were usually from the Legion, looking for orders, or the Temple, looking to pay a pilgrimage to the Ashmask of Vivec. Important people almost never came to Gnisis.

As the two walked closer, they saw Hainab through a gap in the crowd. In fact, the crowd seemed to have formed around him and one other person. Lynnae laughed upon seeing his angry, purple tinged face. "I think that brother of yours is getting told off by the Nerevarine, of all people," she said with a smile, pointing him out to Felura.

Felura, on the other hand, found it not the least bit funny. She shoved through the crowd, elbowing people out of the way and not apologising at all. She got to the middle, where a little circle had formed around an Altmer dressed in a hooded travelling cape, a dagger buckled at her hip and a shining gauntlet on her right hand that looked Dwemer in origin. Hainab, on the other hand, looked pathetic on comparison. She towered over him, intimidating in her glass armour, whereas he shrank back slightly from her intense gaze.

"What," Felura demanded, hands on her hips," is going on here, brother?" Hainab glanced her way, and blanched upon seeing the furious face of his sister.

The Altmer, however, smiled, proffering her hand for Felura to shake. The Dunmer offered her hand cautiously, surprised by the strength of the other woman's grip. Generally, Altmer weren't very strong physically, devoting their lives to spell casting and knowledge, but that certainly couldn't be said for the woman standing before her.

"This is your brother?" the Nerevarine asked, gesturing at Hainab. Felura nodded, her face turning purple in shame. "According to a certain Hentus Yasurnummu, he stole his pants while he was bathing in the river. I just want to return them," the continued, her voice surprisingly deep for one of her race.

Felura scowled, whirling around to face her brother. "Is this true?" the Dunmer demanded, sending him her iciest glare. Hainab nodded slowly, hanging his head in shame. Felura had to hold back a laugh, almost losing her composure, before calming down. "Give her the pants," she said with a sigh, ashamed by her brother's predicament. He did, and the Nerevarine walked off towards the river, brown cotton pants in hand.

There was silence for a moment, the crowed watching her go. Someone coughed, before breaking out into a fit of giggles. Soon, Lynnae couldn't hold it in anymore, and she laughed wildly, bending over, hands clutching her sides as she gasped for air. By the time she surfaced, her face was purple and the crowd had pushed her forwards towards Felura.

"What is so funny?" Felura asked, gazing sternly down upon her friend.

Lynnae stared up at her, the corners of her mouth twitching in amusement. "My _brother _has just gotten his pants rescued by the _Nerevarine! _The bloody _Incarnate, _of all people! Almalexia's armpits, this is _ludicous!" _the Dunmer exclaimed before dissolving into a fit of slightly hysterical laughter once more.

Felura opened her mouth to say something, but never got the chance. At that moment, Hentus stormed up the hill to where the crowd still lingered, mercifully fully clothed. He marched up to Hainab, drew his fist back, and punched the other Dunmer in the face.

Hainab winced, touching his nose gingerly, flinching as his finger came back with a smear of blood on the tip. "What was that for?" he demanded, glaring at Hentus.

_"You!" _Hentus growled, ignoring the question entirely. "_You _are the bastard son of a Tsaeci whore and a blighted cliffracer! How _dare _you humiliate me like you did! You made me look like a fool in front of one of the most important people in all of Morrowind!" By the end of the rant, Hentus' face was turning purple, and Lynnae had stopped her laughter, moving over to where her brother stood, placing a hand on her arm in an effort to remind him where he was. It didn't work, and Hentus drew a deep breath, preparing for another onslaught of words.

Hainab interrupted him before he could speak, pointing an accusing finger in Hentus' direction. "Are you're any better? That was a small punishment in comparison to what you did to me!" he exclaimed, his face twisted in fury.

Hentus sent him an icy glare, one hand almost twitching up to repeat the punch from before. "And what would that be?" he demanded, his voice menacing, but not without a hint of curiosity.

"You abandoned me, that's what!" Hainab shouted angrily. "You used me, and then left me to rot!" Hentus' frown disappeared, replaced by confused expression. "I thought we had something," Hainab muttered bitterly, his voice carrying in the silence. "Obviously I was wrong, and I'm a fool." He turned to walk away after that, his anger spent.

Hentus laughed, watching him go. "You are a fool alright," he called. "I never said anything of the sort! I just needed some time away from you, that was all. I even said as much. It was just a misunderstanding."

Hainab paused in his tracks, turning to look at Hentus, to see if he was merely playing a trick on him. The other Dunmer's face was deadly serious, and Hainab found his feet moving of their own accord, walking him back towards Hentus.

He took the other mans hands in his, smiling slightly. "In that case, I am sorry. I made us both look like right fools, didn't I?" he apologised, a grin creeping across his face. He hugged Hentus, who returned the embrace wholeheartedly.

It was only then that they realised that almost the entire population of Gnisis was staring at them in shock.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

**A/N: I couldn't help myself, really I couldn't. This pairing is epic, and you know it to be canon (not), so when my friend demanded I write a fanfic about them, I did. This is the result. I hope you liked it, and that I didn't ruin those characters for you. Much. Really, I hope you don't giggle every time you see them after this. I know I do.**


End file.
